Long Weekend

20 minutes ago, I felt like I had so much to write. Now, I'm sleepy and that's probably the worst time for me to write.

3 day weekend, filled with all kinds of emotional shit. I think its probably best that I do some pen on paper writing.

Quick rehash:

Friday - somebody who used to be a really good friend of mine has told me she doesn't want me to be a part of her life anymore because of stuff she saw on facebook. I kinda knew it was coming and wasn't totally surprised, but it still hurt. Our friendship has been slowly falling apart for a few months, so I've already done some mourning around it. But it sucks.

Friday night I went to see some friends of mine who have a band play at the Fox and Goose in downtown Sacramento. I've been trying to get to one of their gigs for awhile, now. They are really good. One of them plays the keyboard, one a guitar and the other plays a clarinet. All three of them take turns singing. It was a lot of fun. After the show, a few of us girls went over to Faces to get our groove one. I was wearing the WAY wrong shoes so my feet were killing me rather quickly. Bummed. But we had a really good time.

Saturday was frustrating and busy. I got an email from my ex that he moved close to me and is working at the Safeway by my house. I stopped over there to say hello to him and, for the first time, felt nothing for him. It was exhilarating! He told me that another good friend of mine from the past was working up the street at Auto Zone so I went to go see her. She was so excited to see me! It was great. When I got home, I was working on my car (long story for another post sometime) when my neighbor and his mechanic friend came over to help me. Turns out I was wasting my time and the mechanic helped me to figure out what was wrong (at least partially). I put the car back together. A few hours later, my best friend (who lives in San Jose), picked me up on her way back from her mom's in Auburn and brought me to San Jose with her. YAY.

I got to spend all day Sunday with my San Jose friends, who are amazing people that I love love love to be around. Late Sunday night, a group of about 12 of us went to see the movie "Extract." It was pretty funny and the company was great.

Monday morning Ramona (my bestie) and I made breakfast for our friend Nancy and Monday afternoon, my friends Charisma and Staci drove me back home to Sacramento.

Sometimes, its hard for me to come back from San Jose trips. And right now, there's a lot of stuff going on in my life. It all seemed to culminate in my crazy head as soon as I was home. I got sad and lonely right away and I started to think about all the things that are going wrong, or not how I want them to go. I'm stressed about my car and finances, I feel like I'm failing some of my friends, my heart is in the wrong place around a guy, I'm lonely, I'm struggling with my weight, I lost a good friend, etc etc. No bueno. But, by the end of the night, myself and 3 other girls all sat in the living room and talked about random crap. Most of the talk was about men. I'll write more on all that later. What I ended up with was a possible new woman to work with. :) One person really working with and identifying with another produces amazing results. Now I'm feeling pretty good. And nothing has changed. The crap is still there, but I'm looking at it from another perspective.

I trust that God is everything and he's got better plans for me than I do. I just have to start taking the right steps to get myself out of the rut and back into the full swing of life. I need to go back to looking and what I can do, each day, to work towards the next goal.